The Sunset Spotlight

VWT 2010: Update

2010-06-25T14:29:00.001-07:00

We're watching Pierce The Vail: not bad at all. Great show all around. Anarbor we saw before, yawn - Blink 182 wannabes.

Interviewed Taylor Momsen of The Pretty Reckless and the band Hello Monday.

Momsen seemed really nervous to be interviewed, but they were lively and excited to be on Warped Tour. Let's hope it works out well.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Carson, CA

At Warped Tour 2010

2010-06-25T13:12:00.001-07:00

Were here at Vans Warped Tour 2010! This time starting out in much cooler Carson, CA.

So far best band of the morning seems to be We Are The In Crowd which had a good, but somewhat forgettable, pop hook structure and great stage presence.

But also very Disney Channel.

Notable absence in the much-publicized band We The Kings, featuring Demi Lovato. Yeah, she ain't here.

This years kickoff seems much smaller than past Pomona kickoffs. And musicians will be sad to see no after show BBQ is happening.

More to come.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Carson, CA

March Show Roundup

2010-03-11T12:50:00.001-08:00

The concert season is slowly ramping up. Seen any good shows? Here were a few:

Mariah Carey played to two packed houses at the Gibson Amphitheatre, delivering her reliably satisfying show to her “lambs” or whatever she wants to demean her fans with these days.

She laid a straightforward show, playing nothing but hits and was disarmingly charming to the crowd, in her own special “Princess Mimi” way. It was typical, vintage Mariah which would satisfy every fan everywhere, with spot on singing and Mariah’s typical lack of dancing. Excellent show all around.

Gabriel Iglesias played the Wiltern Theatre, amid heavy security due to a threat against him levied earlier that day. A collegue of mine warned me to watch out for this comedian as he will be the next big thing and she was right. Iglesias, on a Comedy Central-sponsored tour, had a warm and acceptably different style of mexican-american humor, not so wrapped up in heavy Spanish which you get at a George Lopez show. Iglesias’ show is quite funny, approachable and charming, and his delivery is such that you find yourself relating to his anecdotes, despite ever being in his shoes. Watch out for Gabriel Iglesias – you’ll be seeing more of him!

Diane Birch, a former client of AyesseMedia and darling of the L.A. indie scene in 2005 played the Wiltern Theatre for the first time, opening for Nick Jonas. This clearly was one of those “buy-in” opening slots, as their music and audiences simply didn’t mesh. Unfortunately, the charm and goofiness of Birch’s earlier performances were lost somewhere in her UK travels. Birch’s performance, although technically proficient and the music was quite well performed, seemed soul-less and contrived, which could explain why her sales are not skyrocketing given the euphoric nature of Jonas’ audience. Birch just didn’t seem to connect with the audience, despite a clearly planted set of fans who tried to rally cheers at every pause. We had the advantage of seeing her shows between 2005 and 2006 in Los Angeles, and she carried such a charm and approachability which was unrivaled in any other singer/songwriter of her day. We feel sad to say that such approachability is gone, leaving what can only be described as another singer/songwriter pushed into the same “do this and you’ll be famous” formula which has proven to fail time and again in this modern era of music. Her songs didn’t have those hooks you look for in a hit, and were very singer/songwritery, but not in a way which makes you want to buy a song. We hope that she comes back with a bit more of the old-school charm which made her the name she was 5 years ago.

Justin Bieber, fresh of his conquering of millions of tween-age hearts, blew up the Hollywood Palladium on Valentines Day (yes it’s not March, but I still had to mention it!) He led with one of the worst acts we’ve seen in seven years – the robotic and talentless Wonder Girls – which gave him an easy road to travel in terms of charming his audience. Look, let’s cut to the chase with this guy – he can’t sing and can barely dance. He’s cute as a button and makes the tweeners discover themselves far faster than any parent wants to believe or admit - and that’s why the girls were literally killing themselves to get close. Before he even hit the stage, security was removing girls from the barricade pit area at a rate of almost 30 per minute…then the show started. We witnessed girls kicking and pushing their way close, only to be crushed in the throng of other girls. Many a girl went partially shoeless due to the massive melee at the front, with almost 40 per minute of girls being removed from the barricade or blocked from accessing the stage during the show, all of them inexplicably losing their shoes in the process. Never did see where any of these shoes went.

Bieber sure knows how to throw a raucous party. We’re hotly waiting for his upcoming “keep my career alive and relevant” VH1 show, probably coming soon…just as soon as he turns 18.

Good Shows Tonight!

2010-03-11T12:26:00.001-08:00

Make sure you check out Scarlett Cherry tonight at Air Conditioned Lounge in Venice. Part of the magic of the Zodiac Show, Scarlett Cherry is backed by a powerful band of professional musicians and is sure to deliver a fantastic experience in a fun, chill venue.

Looking for something more Hollywood? Check out the always unique Honeybreath at Spaceland, bringing their dark, classic alternative-ish charm to the hallowed halls of Spaceland tonight.

Or you can go and see all the other bands in town doing variations of what everyone else is doing.

But why would you torture yourself?

On the web:

Scarlett Cherry (www.scarlettcherry.com)

The Venue Shuffle

2009-12-01T12:47:00.001-08:00

So all these shows are bending around. What does it mean?

Think of this: the high-profile shows which used to go to HOB, now go to Nokia and Club Nokia. This is because the venue is newer, nicer, and HOB will have lower-end booking.

The shows which used to go to Knitting Factory and Key Club now will likely go to HOB. This is because there are no small venues to accommodate. No, the Avalon won’t pick up the slack: they make too much $ on filming and nightclubs.

The medium size venue shows which went to Gibson on occasion, now go to Nokia. Gibson compensates by booking more latin shows.

The medium size venue shows which used to go to HOB will probably go to Wiltern, and if they can’t draw, then the Palladium.

The rock shows that seem to draw now are all latin shows – look for more of those in 2010.

For indie/low-low end shows, well, you’ll see them showing up at more lesser-known, lesser venues like Good Hurt in Santa Monica, The Mint off Pico and The Echo, and probably more secondary market venues like Palladino’s in the Valley and Brixton in the South Bay. It just doesn’t pay to play L.A. any more.

End of an Era: Key Club likely to close

2009-12-01T12:35:00.001-08:00

It used to be Gazarri’s (did I spell that right? Does it matter?) in the 80’s, when hair and heavy metal collided.

In the 90’s, it re-opened as Billboard Live, then renamed the Key Club.

One of the best stages in Hollywood, looks like is closing its doors. The Gauntlet and KROQ are both reporting that the Key Club shall close at the end of the year due to poor attendance, virtually absent booking and the fact that Steel Panther (aka Metal Skool) can’t play every single night…plus Key Club can’t pay salaries by charging $20 for a Bud Light - $8 is already robbery.

The Key Club was heavily buoyed by the rise of Indie Rock, Punk Rock and Camp Freddy. Burlesque and Fetish shows abounded and filled the floors with rockers and regulars every night. We shot many, many shows on that stage (and off it!). Names of all levels had graced the Club and left their sticker on the wall.

As always, all good things must come to an end. And I’ll miss it…of course until it re-opens.

The Key Club had expanded to the new Morongo Casino in Cabazon, opening for one year before bad attendance and crappy booking did the club in. It seems that plague had followed it to Hollywood.

The club had been in disrepair. While the Troubadour showed no signs of slowdowns, with improved sound and lighting, the Key Club used to rock state of the art production values, but lately had boasted bad sound, antiquated lighting and a really bad video screen. Unprofessional wait and bounce staff (generally speaking) didn’t help.

So down in the grave with other infamous rock shops like Lava Lounge, Safari Sams, and Knitting Factory: a sign of the times that good o’le fashioned rock shows don’t draw like they used to; and the end of the line for another quality venue in Los Angeles.

There’s still the Roxy, Viper and Troubadour: three quality venues in West Hollywood. Otherwise, you’ll have to pay too much for HOB and haul way out for Spaceland.

Such is the way of the world.

Show Roundup: Mos Def and Erykah Badu

2009-09-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

Fans of Mos Def and Erykah Badu got a fantastic treat at the Hollywood Palladium recently with performances by headliner Mos Def and by the almost legendary Erykah Badu.

Of course, they had to wait for it, as the sold-out show ran almost 2 hours late at one point. This was probably caused in part by one unknown rapper who took the stage at the time that artist Jay Electronica was supposed to begin. He showed up, rapped, and walked off - no name, no lights no nothing.

Opener Jay Electronica was quite simply a waste of time, with a disjointed show, decent raps but generally a boring presentation end-to-end, rife with cliches and a dash of too much jack, which you could smell from the first two rows.

Erykah Badu presented another fantastic performance, although less eclectic in the costuming than past performances. Her backing "band" called the Cannabinoids were funny in presentation, giving each man a character personality which was quite humorous. Technofiles would love this performance, as Badu was backed by no less than eight laptops and five keyboards (no real instruments were used in the making of this concert) - all Macs with one HP.

Our favorite performance was definitely the Badu version of NWA's Gangsta Gangsta.

Mos Def did a decent performance. Wasn't great, wasn't good. But was just too, too late, as his show was scheduled to end at midnight, yet didn't even start at midnight. We didn't stay for his two hour performance, but you find this kind of lazy showrunning at many hip-hop shows, which, we believe, is a complete condesending act against the fans and audience.

Who cares, right? He already got your money.

On the web:

Mos Def
Erykah Badu

Why Ellen DeGeneres Was The Right Choice

2009-09-10T13:06:00.000-07:00

It's very simple really - American Idol is not about music. Hasn't been for years. So logically, their judges would not be about music. So Ellen, will not only garner increased ratings, it will also make AI gay-friendly, gay-safe.

It wouldn't surprise me one bit if AI's winner this year was openly gay, either.

Not like there's any evidence anywhere that AI is fixed or anything...

But look at the facts of the matter: AI is a heavy, heavy branding machine, heavy marketing machine. The musical guests all are people looking to sell something. Notice that with each musical guest or judge who had come on, they all, all had an album, CD, track, tv show or something to sell that was either new or out for a while and not doing well. With lifestyle brands like Coke, AT&T and Ford, the show is one clinic in integrated branding and commercials within commercials, rather than a singing competition.

By way of comparison, do you really think that Nick Cannon got the hosting gig on America's Got Talent because of his mastery of pronunciation of the English language and his devastating charm? ...or is it because for what he's really know as - Nick Carey...

AI needs to stem the season-after-season ratings fall of the show, so a change is in order. AI is also seen as very conservative, anti-gay. So this is the perfect solution to both problems. AI will get a ratings boost, seem gay friendly, and all will be right with the world.

Look at the other new judge - DioGuardi walked in and essentially pushed Abdul out. Yet DioGuardi is a failed performer. She has no idea what it's like to helm a headlining show. She's also NOT the songwriter she claims to be, evidenced by the fact that her AI song was so bad they pulled it from the concert lineup and it is the lowest selling single to date. Her songwriting "success" was completely by the other songwriters who actually wrote the song, and gave her a percentage credit. She's milked it as much as one could do to her credit.

Any music industry professional can tell you stories as to how shady songwriting credits are and who actually writes songs versus who gets credit for writing songs.

So essentially you have one legit label guy, one legit producer guy, and you had one legit talent. Now you have a fake talent with a tremendous ego, and one comedian, who has no experience at all in the music business. And the show will go on because Ellen is homogenous enough to keep the folks in the midwest happy, minus the drug allegations. She's the right choice because you don't really care about music anyway and they know that.

Yeah, AI will be fine. You'll watch. You won't complain. They'll all get paid. You will still struggle. And that's the way it works - because you won't stop watching, and they know it.

Does Music Make You Hear Better

2009-08-19T14:27:00.000-07:00

Wired.com has an interesting article about how music actually improves your hearing.

It cites a paper published in this month's Ear and Hearing journal (who knew! - there's a journal for everything nowadays!)

It appears that, according to this paper, music and mainly musicians have enhanced speech-in-noise capabilities due to the skills developed in trying to hear their instruments and dialogue during the cacophony of sounds and stimulation.

Hmmm...

Ever talked to a musician when they're just hangin' out? They can't hear shit.

Maybe that's my problem...I should blast music behind me...then they'll totally hear every word I say! Riiight.

Back from a hiatus...

2009-08-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah, well we've been lagging, I know I know.

Too many weekends at the apartment building frolicking around in beer-induced comas and endless barbecues until 3AM...maybe that's why they brought in a new security guard?

But it's good to finally have a summer for once. I haven't had one in a long time.

Since summer is only a few more weeks, get out there and enjoy. I have had a barefoot summer, living like I did when I was 18, with good partying, some work, great new friends, beach, pool and almost always barefoot. You should too!

SiriusXM Nickels and Dimes with Iphone App - No Stern

2009-06-18T01:12:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought the Iphone couldn't get any cooler, SiriusXM announced a new Iphone App.

I was so ready. So ready to convert my radio subscription to Internet and just route the whole thing through the phone...except that only a fourth of the news channels come through, NO sports and significantly enough, NO STERN.

Mel Karmazin is a good man, but at this point he clearly was just shoveling bullshit in saying that current subscribers would notice no change in the service level for the cost. We now pay more, for less songs on the music channels, unprofessional and generally bad talent on most of the channels, and for less service - we now have to pay for Internet streaming, when it came with the account. To add the insult to the injury, the world's coolest phone is further crippled by denying the two main reasons why people subscribe to SiriusXM.

I'm sorry, but what assclown at SiriusXM thinks that people actually tune in for the Oprah Channel or the SiriusXM book channel?

I've been a subcriber since 2005 and it looks like it may be about time to end this luxury. Subscribers are simply getting the arrogant shaft by SiriusXM and the only way these college graduates will learn how to retain business is by losing the business they tried to build. I'd rather switch to Pandora or another easy to use internet-based radio.

With stock shares valued at .01, it's clear that SiriusXM just doesn't want to be in business any longer.

Myspace in the throws of death - Predictable?

2009-06-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

Myspace announced this week of layoffs of over 420 (30%) of their staff.

Not like this wasn't predictable.

First off, if you checked the foxcareers.com website, you'd always find openings for myspace.com. Like, seriously, always. A company is never hiring for this many people all the time, especially when there isn't reasonable proof that the company is engaged in gang buster profits. It is simply an unsustainable business.

Second, Myspace is really so 2005. After News Corporation acquired it, it was immediately deluged with ads, lame video sections, and a half-assed attempt at creating a music store with DRM-laced everything. Snocap stores to multiple video players on one page, myspace.com pages looked more like a clutterance of crap (a la 1995 webpages) than a cohesive creation of credible experiences.

A recent L.A. Times article tries to explain why Myspace is on the wane. Clearly written by someone not really connected in the scene, or is simply too old to understand what these phenomena are. It cites the corporate line that the company was "too bloated" to move nimbly to compete with the likes of Facebook. This is true, but not the whole reason. Yes, a large super-multi-globo-corp like News Corp can never compete with the barefoot engineers at Facebook because there is something inherently cool about creating new, cool stuff for people to use. Giant corporations have a set-it-and-forget-it mentality which is incompatible with running a business at Internet speed. One example of this is that their networks are populated with Windows XP systems running IE6, and reading emails on Novell Groupwise. HUH? Wow.

Another is a little more subtle. Myspace is/was based in Los Angeles. In 2005, during the rise of myspace.com, L.A. was all about everything indie: indie artists, indie music, anti-corporate establishment mentalities. Myspace music was based a lot on an "all-electronic" model of what the CD distribution-turned-iTunes distributor CD Baby was. More simply, Myspace Music was to promote the little guy, even the playing field, make money through a kind of crowd-sourcing. Even a radio station called Indie 103.1 was created to capture and harness the power of the "new independent artist". It was the rise of the e-promotion, the grass roots effort, the new way to organize large armies of people, to promote your brand, your band, your identity. Everyone bought it.

One problem: the indie artist doesn't make enough money to support all this overhead. It never will. Myspace.com friend counts were more fraud than fact. Early artists like Tila Tequila were more titillation than talent. So when the indie market for talent collapsed in Los Angeles in 2007, so also collapses Myspace's hopes and dreams. Myspace became a billboard rather than an interactive, connective experience. Bands were indistinguishable from eachother. Friend counts were automated and people used myspace as an Inbox rather than a connection tool. Look, people don't like friggin advertisements. They don't like their experience to be wallpapered by endless ads for the next big 20th Century Fox movie. And, they (the users of Myspace early on) barely had enough cash to buy the indie artist's CD. They weren't going to patronize the thing being advertised at the level that was projected. It was sort of the "FU for buying/corporatizing Myspace" message. After the indie collapse and the subsequent economic downturn, WHAM! Ad revenues vanished, and what was left, the viewers weren't buying anyways. What does that mean? A whole lot of unpopularity for Myspace.

Another reason for the Myspace losses is more a demo issue. Many articles written illustrate that the average user now on Myspace is a mid-thirties male. Mid-thirties. Young people spend money indiscriminately - not mid-thirties. As well, those young people don't want to be where old people go, where many cops go, where many pedophiles go, and they don't like having their profile on the same system as their mom, teacher or coach. It isn't cool. And young people have been exposed so much to advertisements, that it doesn't affect them as well as on an older person who, say, really wants to see Megan Fox do anything because they don't see hot young women that often.

Facebook has surpassed Myspace for ease of use, excellent trend-chasing (like with Twitter apps), and the noticable LACK of advertisements. Like Twitter, people just want to connect, not buy music (there's Itunes or Amazon for that), not watch videos (Hulu, Youtube or any number of the bazillion other sites for that) or have to wade through a page jammed full of ads and wait for pages that don't load quickly because the code loads the ads first.

Myspace is simply too ignorant to realize this reality and it's death is hopefully forthcoming.

As long as Facebook doesn't make any more bonehead UI revisions (like adding giant banner ads everywhere) it will retain it's tactical advantage over Myspace, and will hold up after the predecessor to Facebook breaks.

Facebook is still not for the young - it's a great way to replace classmates.com, for one!

I've had many a wonderful experience with Myspace. I met many amazing people, from all over the country - all over the world. But it's time has come to end, and let the new innovators of the 21st century take their bow.

Blink 182 Dazzles at Kimmel

2009-06-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

They've not played a show together in about three hundred years, but fans of Blink 182 got a fantastic treat care of the always music-supportive Jimmy Kimmel Show when they played the Pontiac (why is this still named this?) Garage outdoor stage in Hollywood.

Although the actual show was a bit sloppy and disconnected, but if you're a fan of Blink, well, you kinda expect that!

One notable element was the absolutely superb drum playing by Travis Barker, who is just completely tatted to the point where you just don't notice new tats anymore, but has shown that he has sharpened his skills to become one of the elite drummers of all time.

Over 300 plus watched the 8-song mini-concert in Hollywood, where some concert viewers were hanging from trees, on rooftops and, conventionally, in the audience.

If this show is any indication, the concert this summer that Blink 182 is headlining will be quite lucrative and a fantastic show for all.

Desperate Marshall Mathers

2009-06-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

It's a sad day in hip-hop when big bad ass Eminem, arguably one of the most beautiful rappers/poets of the last decade turns to acts of desperation to sell his album.

His most recent single is clearly a phoned-in attempt at ATM-ing his talent because his on-again, off-again distortion of a marriage had probably tapped his finances.

But to take a man's ass in your face on international television, on the wholly-irrelevant MTV Networks group of channels is one classic act of sales desperation, proving that Eminem can now, not only be called a sell-out, but can command clearly no respect anywhere in the hip-hop community. His artistic prowess is now completely overshadowed by the fact that he clearly, clearly was in on the joke.

Howard Stern pointed out on his radio show on Sirius XM that the shots were all properly blocked, the pathway exit was cleared, and that he sat just long enough for the cameras to get a clear shot of him, he sat with his head right on Sasha Baron Cohen's taint for more than five seconds and, only then, did he say "Get the fuck off of me" with his ignorant bodyguards playing a clearly rehearsed game of badminton with Cohen's body.

This is why I don't like the modern music industry. This is why the music industry needs to re-examine itself. These desperate acts of "punk rock" rebellion serve only to underscore how lame and out-of-touch the producers are, especially when they let these dipshit over thirty college graduates do the writing for the show.

Eminem doesn't really deserve the respect due an artist any longer, for taking such a cheap and desperate attempt to sell his music.

There was once a day when it was only about the music and the artistic expression which enveloped the music.

Now, it's about cheap thrills, bad jokes, lame showmanship, and talentless writing.

What's next, Eminem takes a shot in the mouth to sell a single? Bukake's his face to bank a buck?

Lame.

Recent Show Roundup

2009-05-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

Has the indie scene been rather dry? Yeah, I thought so too.

There's a lot of derivative shows lately, where the bands are looking like other bands, sounding like other bands. Is that any reason why many of the recent signings aren't in Los Angeles?

Some more name acts like Keane, Seal and the ubiquitously barefoot Joss Stone all recently performed in Los Angeles to fantastic performances, teaching the up-and-comers how its done. Especially at the recent Keane performance where myspace artist Matt Kearney performed a wooden, sleepy set which was effective in sucking the air out of the room where Keane was happy to replace it.

At the House of Blues Foundation Room, local artist bELA came out of the woodwork with a scaled down band (to a two-some with her brother) and nailed a passionate, artistic and technical performance showing shades of a Bjork-grade, quite coherent level of talent and ecclectics which we've not seen in Los Angeles at all (except for the oddity that was The Spores from a few years back). She was followed by the also ubiquitous (but never barefoot) Christopher Hawley Rollers whose brand of loungy roots rock bar music is always welcome at what seems to be every club I seem to show up in. Seriously, this guy shows up everywhere!

We'll be checking out a few shows all through the summer to give a better idea as to who is hot and who is just not.

On the web:
bELA: www.myspace.com/belafanbase
Christopher Hawley Rollers: www.christopherhawley.net

Imagine if your phone...

2009-05-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

Did this:

The best of both the blackberry and iphone screens... coming soon...

More on it here.

REVIEW: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2009-05-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

It's an OK movie. Big spectacle, lots of violence and special effects, but not leaving you with that POW feeling.

One moviegoer said it best, "It was good, but I was disappointed."

Issues would be disloyalty to the storyline, piles of violence and a lack of entrances of legacy characters (you sort of had to figure them out).

One glaring (I think) issue is the inconsistency in special effects. It looked like budgeting was declared for certain scenes, and other scenes got no money at all. Some scenes looked outright unfinished, with mismatched color palletes, horribly amateurish green screens and a really cheezy waterfall scene with a naked Hugh Jackman falling which really just appeared on screen as unpro.

Upon reading the credits you can see no less than 12 different special effects companies worked on this film. TWELVE? Talk about cost cutting. The film really did feel like a patchwork of scenes stitched together with varying quality and cutaway and intercut scenes seemingly thrown in at the last second.

Not a good start for a blockbuster.

Save your money and wait for the video to show up at Walmart for $9.

Insight on the Insight

2009-03-29T11:58:00.001-07:00

In the late 1990s, Honda was the only car company with a hybrid on the road. It was called the Insight. It was basically a CRX with a weird, new-fangled electricity hybrid which pissed off the modders of the time and led to many a panzy name-calling session when you rolled up to the stoplight in that and not a tricked out Civic or CRX.

GM had one too - it was ALL ELECTRIC called the EV-1. GM thought it was not viable for consumers and people woudn't go for it (plus the invariable huge bitching from the oil conglomerates and GM, being quite patriotic, ordered all owners to return the EV-1 for destruction...literally...we see how well that's worked out for GM). Toyota wasn't on the map. There was no Prius. The original "gay spaceship" as one comedian once called the Prius was the Insight.

I'm a fan of Honda, not because they're cheap cars - they're not -but because they don't screw around with the horseshit that BMW or Mercedes Benz do with the crap about prestige and image. Take a boxload of prestige to the bank and try to deposit it - see how far you get. Honda does have something in common with BMW and Mercedes, and that's innovation. The second generation of Insights takes a lot from the FCV Clarity. That's a Fuel Cell Vehicle, similar to the Fuel Cell Vehicle which BMW and GM are rolling around with.

But one thing you never see MBZ or BMW or even Prius owners do with their cars - make funny light shows. Utilizing the LED headlights of the Insight, Honda has made something quite unique about the Insight - one massive LED display:

You'll Be Saying Wow Everytime

2009-03-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

ShamWow! and Slap Chop pitchman Vince Shlomi aka Vince Offer was arrested for beating up a hooker because she bit his tongue.

You can read the article about him here.

Maybe it was his shark-fin hair? Ultra cool threads? Maybe because she liked his nuts in the Slap Chop?

Or maybe she told him he'll be saying wow every time.

Dude, he was on CNBC, and his VP of whatever the hell is friggin hot. If he ain't gettin' nothing from her what the F?

Guys will do anything to get laid.

No video of the CNBC interview cuz they're dicks, but just to remind you:

And...

The Thing About Kara

2009-03-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm not a fan of Kara Dioguardi.

I'm not a fan of American Idol, but the only one with any sense is Simon. At least Simon and Paula have a recognizable track record. Randy Jackson is as fake in person as he appears on camera (yes I've met him several times).

But Kara...she's only on the show because she knows Paula. By her own admission, she's a failed performance artist and had never actually had a successful performance career - sooo, why is she judging performers? So she can, maybe, help them not fail? Or fail?

Her website says she's VP of A&R of Warner Bros. Records. We see how good their track record has been over the last 5 years (minus the legacy acts, because she's got nothing to do with them).

The problem I have is that on her website she's fast and loose with the terms "my song" and "co-write". If you looked at her actual writing credits on the BMI Repertoire, you'll see that she rarely, if ever wrote a song alone - maybe twice out of 555 songs. We're not saying she didn't write any of these songs, but she certainly didn't solely write any of the songs, nor can she call them "her songs" because other writers are involved. We think by saying these songs are hers, that's a fraud, because she co-wrote with other artists, especially known "hit-maker" writers who have written far more successful (in sales) songs than she ever did, which, I think, calls into question her actual credibility... as if being Paula's friend and showing how it really is who you know not what you know is the actual reality of this business doesn't already diminish her credibility.

Does this mean anything? No. Of course not. Just understand she's contributing to why radio sucks, why the value of music has been diminished and devalued and as to why all of her rantings are BS. The "art" she so proudly lauds is woefully absent when you co-write such intellectually stimulating songs which sound so much different from every other song on the radio. So the next time you complain that the radio sucks, rock music is dead and pop is shit, then stop lauding people like Kara Dioguardi and stop buying pop music. Come on, demand better already.

And, in case there's some stuffy Fox attorney or personal attorney looking for a suit, all of the above, is in my opinion, of course, but the BMI index doesn't lie and is totally factual, as well as the quotes from her site. Plus, I like to go after bar cards, so sue at your own peril.

She knows pop music songwriting. Not performance. And that means she knows how to make widgets, not art.

The Dollyrots Featured in Universal Trailer

2009-03-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

Local L.A. band (from Florida) The Dollyrots scored some phat licensing money recently and you can hear their single "Because I'm Awesome" featured prominently in the never-ending-ever saga of the "Bring It On" franchise, this one, apparently, is the Christina Millian version, because someone thinks she'll sell in movies, even though her music doesn't sell.

Leave that one to the college graduates who bought the sales line from her agents.

...and who's her agent so I can get a deal like that???

Glad to see that at least one of the indie bands from L.A. is still trying and still succeeding.

On the web:
www.myspace.com/thedollyrots

Is Anything Legit on MTV?

2009-03-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

Let's see, MTV, formerly known as Music Television, doesn't play any music.

They make the most mind-numbingly stupid television on the planet next to the Oprah Winfrey Show.

We all know the show Cribs is a fraud, as mos)e and rented cars that the producers placed there.

Even one of the most arguably funny shows on the channel, Parental Control, isn't real, as that's not the parent's house most of the time.

This would be evidenced by the posting on craigslist.com (http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/crg/1089087323.html) where it says:

Reply to: parentalcontrolhouse@yahoo.com ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-03-23, 7:22PM PDT

Looking for good-looking decently large sized homes in the greater los angeles area. We offer $500 for the shoot, fully insured. Must have a big living room (atleast 16' by 16') most of the shoot takes place there. Email if interested.

Thanks!
Walter

Pathetic. Not even that show real. We're now pretty much raising a generation of kids that totally believe that all the horseshit on TV is real, when it's complete bullshit.

Gmail Users Can Undo Loving Stalker Notes

2009-03-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

Wired.com is reporting on a new feature in Gmail, for all you users of Gmail who like your mail archived and crawled by robots hellbent on pelting you with ads -Undo!

Oh yeah, better than that dastardly drunken goggles app, Google now allows you to undo that wretched note which would violate your parole and just take it all back with one click. Now, you can prevent losing your job or girl or your inadvertent revelation of your secret sexual orientation.

The Undo feature, though, really isn't an undo - it's a queue, which delays your email from going out for up to 5 seconds. So, really, you've got five seconds to think about what you've just done and to ask yourself if you really, really did spell-check that email.

Now if only Yahoo could Undoo.

Taylor Hicks Rocks Roxy

2009-03-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

Many folks in the world believe that once you win American Idol, that the road is paved with gold and roses for Katherine McPhee to gleefully dance along barefoot...even though she didn't win. But the Ruben Studdards of the world will tell you that sometimes all that glitters may not be so golden as was the case with Taylor Hicks at the Roxy Theatre.

Don't get me wrong, Taylor Hicks definitely has an underrated show. His performance was very enjoyable, his musicianship and the musicianship of his band was nothing but professional. Unfortunately the half-filled room were the only ones to appreciate it.

Hicks seemed to have a hard time drawing at the Roxy. Although, audience members, some of whom came as far away as South Carolina or Canada, were prepared, rationalizing that Hicks is not a mainstream pop candy and is an acquired taste. One woman went so far as to explicitly explain to me why he doesn't photograph well.

His performance was not bolstered by his opener, Candace Devine, whose voice kept giving out when she tried to belt the high notes, thereby coloring her singing as a gravely blues performance instead of an all-out singing sensation. Devine's performance was good, but in a lounge act kind of quality, whereby opening for what could arguably be considered a national act may be still too far out of reach. As well, nobody but nobody seemed to know who she was, and it didn't seem to lift the draw any.

Hicks is currently starring in the local off-Broadway production of Grease at the Pantages Theatre, and this performance probably helped ticket sales there, as everyone was talking about Hicks in Grease. Nevertheless, the late 40s to early 50s crowd isn't the type to pad a draw in the long run, so Hicks may have an uphill battle if he tries to play larger venues, or venues without a bar less than 100 feet from the stage. Most of the audience wasn't from Los Angeles, and even the local radio station My 100 FM (I think), just gave out stickers to random people and then bailed 20 minutes before doors, showing their lackluster support for this American Idol winner.

Taylor Hicks isn't so much an acquired taste as he's a much better sell in the south and midwest. We happen to appreciate his mix of country western and blues/southern rock and makes for a good sountrack to drinking and pool shooting. But to try to bottle the AI lightning and re-engineer history may be much more a task of Sisyphus than something based in reality.

Taylor Hicks did have fans in the multitude of badly-behaving photographers who showed up to photograph Hicks. Their red carpet pap tactics of disrespectfully pushing through the crowds of paying and non-paying folks didn't fly with the gauntlet of women at the front line, as many of them were barked back about 3 rows or physically threatened to move. Even at one point, a tall photographer pushed his way into the front row from the stage and decided to shoot while ducking after being subtly threatened by a male in the crowd.

There were some people who were angry with the way the show was put on, as many who paid the $35 price tag met some who paid nothing as a pair of websites began giving away tickets (just pay that dandy service fee) late in the day. Ostensibly, this was a late-game attempt to make the room look full, but it just seemed to have failed.

A bright spot of the night was the nonchalant opener Check In The Dark, whose bluesy, melodic soft-southern country-pop/rock was a welcome and surprising blend of notes in a Dave Matthews kind of way, which made for an actually pleasant and competent opening band (you know, because most openers usually are blatantly retarded). Bragging how they dropped an album in Japan and immediately sold 500 copies, they may be onto something in the short-term, as Check In The Dark snakecharmed the room just enough to dodge the usual scathing apathy that Los Angeles is so well known for.

On the web:

Check In The Dark
www.myspace.com/checkinthedarkmusic

Candace Devine
www.myspace.com/candacedevine

Taylor Hicks
www.taylorhicks.com

A Little Petty Cash at the Key Club

2009-03-18T11:55:00.000-07:00

If you've been going to the Key Club on Sunset for any amount of time (or maybe like 3 years or so), you know that Monday nights are crazy. Did you know that underneath, in the Plush lounge, the party starts as early as 9PM? That's when you need to experience the magic of Petty Cash.

Comprised, in part, of current and former members of Juliette Lewis' indie band Juliette and The Licks, Petty Cash is a fantastic cover band, playing the hits and greats of Johnny Cash and Tom Petty, in a rockin', raucous, and lively set.

Featuring players like Kemble Walters ("Volume"), Todd Morse ("H20") and Jason Womack (all formerly or currently of Juliette's band), Petty Cash warms up the cockles of the Key Club in preparation for the Monday Madness which is Steel Panther (aka "Metal Skool" aka "Metal Shop" for you name purists). $3 PBRs also make it a little more enjoyable.

Petty Cash is often guested, just like Steel Panther's performances, by such folks as Pink (Alecia Moore) and the guys from Steel Panther and H20, to name a simple few.

It's not pretentious nor presumtuous. They play the Petty and Cash hits with some good hearted, half-drunken fun and show how much these guys really enjoy just playing music in general, oftentimes wailing off in a fun guitar solo or dueling guitars and drums or guitars and vocals, heighting the fun and musical flavor. I mean, how much fun is it to scream the chorus of the song "Freeballin'"? Ya know?!

For a fantastic warm up to the metal mania of Steel Panther, do check out Petty Cash at the Key Club. Usually in the Plush lounge downstairs. You know, downstairs, by the bathrooms, across from the photo booth - in that place you never go to?

Hit them up below to get on the free guest list, and then go get 'em!

On the web:
www.myspace.com/pettycashparty

Lady Gaga Blows Out the Wiltern

2009-03-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

Last week, UK performer Lady Gaga put on a clinic at the Wiltern, handling expectations, hype, energy and slamming down a satisfying pop candy performance.

The Wiltern Theatre was more sold out than any show I can remember (remember that "Sold Out" doesn't actually mean "Sold Out"), with people still packing into the center sections and overflowing the pit area even as Lady Gaga's performance continued.

Celebrities actually came in the front door, rather than through the check-in point in the side alley door, where they usually come in. People like Davey Havok ("AFI") and Kanye West stormed through the foyer of the Wiltern, to only be surprised by the phalanx of photographers awaiting to ambush their presence, rather than allow them a good time to enjoy a great performance. This usually happens when red carpet paps invade a concert, rather than concert photographers. Kelly Osborne entered and actually stayed on the floor, watching the show from the pit, while others went straight to the backstage party downstairs.

Lady Gaga's performance was a mix of the theatrical with the familiar mainstream pop dance spectacular. If you're not a fan of her music or of this form of pop/dance, you will be hard-pressed to deny the showmanship Lady Gaga presents, on par with Madonna, Janet and Britney in intricacy, dance and detail - in a smaller scale of course.

Look for Lady Gaga to be playing a theatre near you, and then a stadium on the next run.

On the web:
www.ladygaga.com

A Dash of Anti-Disney Brilliance

2009-03-12T23:41:00.000-07:00

I used to work for Walt Disney. I have a total appreciation.

Special thanks to DHD.

Estelle Rocks the House

2009-03-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

Charming the stage is becoming an increasingly tough thing to do in modern music. As more and more performers yell "make some noise" it is becoming a lost art. Estelle, however, seems to make charming the snakes in the room an effortless and enjoyable feat.

Estelle, who recently opened for John Legend, proved that her natural charm and flow which she so deftly displayed at the Gibson Amphitheater, is only made more fun when placed on an intimate stage. Estelle played the House of Blues in Anaheim to a fully-packed house (and when I mean packed, I mean to the back wall and to the door, and the upper-level decks too!), sold out and more waiting outside, and she did not fail in delivering a rockin', sing-along show which men and women both delighted in.

Her disarming charm was in full bloom when storytelling how many men did her wrong and what she decided to do about it -the audience gleefully going along for the ride.

This UK starlet, famous for her part in the Kanye West duet "American Boy" is poised and ready for her bigger spotlight, shades of her show reminiscent of a young Mary J. Blige, with more humor and a contemporary style uniquely her own. Look for her to receive more Grammy nominations in the future.

Estelle's performance was buoyed by what can only be described as an absolutely aweful and incoherent performance by hip-hop duo The Knux, whose dated style and over-dressed rhymes were hip and cool if it were 1986. They just came off boring and just trying too hard.

Estelle is on tour now.

On the web:

www.estellemusic.com
www.myspace.com/estelleonline

Sign of the Times

2009-03-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

It's not a good thing, these times we're in.

I was in Hermosa Beach and my favorite punk rock, counter-culture store, Greeko's is literally half the size. All of the killer threads and kicks are gone, as well as the awesome pool table.

I did shots of The Dollyrots for one of their publicity campaigns here. Now it's a shitty smoke shop.

Half the stores are closed, including one where some smoking hot chick in a tiny skirt and bare feet wanted me to come in to hang out and to show me her bikini-area tattoo (presumably because she saw mine and wanted to share).

Another sign is when the online calendar for the Viper Room, usually just chock full of events for the month, is barely full. Not good at all.

This recession is definitely bad news.

RIAA lays off staff

2009-02-26T14:03:00.000-08:00

One of the most useless and idiotic industry companies in human existence, the RIAA, who's stupid, misguided and baseless terroristic attack on people by indiscriminately suing people based on no evidence that they infringed the copyright of any artist, is laying off 25 staffers according to news.com.

So, if you're like me, I see it as this:
-25 people lost their jobs because the RIAA wasted artist and label money suing people at no profit margin.
-No attorneys were surely laid off.
-No executives were surely laid off.
-Not one dime was ever paid to any of the artists whom the RIAA was "protecting the rights and income" thereto. If so, there's no evidence that I can find to prove that.
-Attorneys hired by RIAA and staffers therein made a ton of coin at the expense and on the backs of the 25 who were probably told "don't let the door hit you..."
-Will someone please whistleblow some RIAA members on how many mp3s they have on their machine?

When the music industry ends their pompous ways, hopefully so shall the useless RIAA.

F the RIAA.

Sign of the coming apocalypse

2009-02-26T13:59:00.001-08:00

A Sony Rolly (a robot) leading a choir of Aibos (robots).

They're beginning to commune and train.

Skynet is almost here.

Why it doesn't matter if you use SSL or not

2009-02-26T13:44:00.000-08:00

Look, the average person doesn't know shit about internet security.

I don't know a lot of shit about internet security.

But SSL is THE secure way to use banking websites and other websites online for your online transaction.

And you naively thought it was fool proof... oh what little you know.

If you don't want to get your ass handed to you in identity theft land, you have to follow certain key tennants, like, for instance, never ever ever answer an email from your bank when it says "login here" to fix some bullshit issue. It's almost always a redirector website or a fake site designed like the real site.

The recent Black Hat DC 09 conference outlined exactly how SSL is hacked. See, it was hacked before, but then folks just took the attitude of "oh well use this instead". Now, in this article, you can see that the "this instead" method is now compromised. Here's another article about how the SSL domain jacking went from theory to practice.

So look, just be careful, learn how hackers fuck with your shit so when you see it, you know what it is and run. The article outlines pretty well how to tell when the slight of hand happens and how your username/password gets picked. In many ways, it all starts out by faking the favicon, as above.

Plus, just stop using IE already. It sucks, it doesn't work. Neither, to a degree, does Safari. Use Firefox, Chrome or Opera and you'll be fine.

For more detailed dish on how fiends flip your shit, check out this PDF.

The Arrogant Disregard for Art

2009-02-26T13:31:00.000-08:00

It's no secret: I despise Annie Leibowitz.

Here's a woman who takes a legendary pompous and arrogant attitude with everyone she shoots. If you've ever been on a Leibowitz shoot, or know someone who has, you know that she basically forces here assistants to do all of the work, then comes out, presses the button, and charges you six figures. She only gets access because she's been shooting since skateboards had clay wheels and was with Rolling Stone from the start and that she overcharges for photos on Vogue. Her photos are cliched, soul-less and without compelling angles. Yet, she's regarded as cultural Americana. Remember, only the most edgy or safe are remembered in this country.

Stern remarks how his photo shoot with her was very uncomfortable because she had such a fucking attitude.

This is also a woman who, when her girlfriend was dying and being carted off in an ambulance, instead of holding her hand, she photographed it. This is also a woman who shot gothic child porn with Miley Cyrus and hid behind the shield of "well her parents were there". Yeah, the cops should have been there - I've been on sets where parents sat near their kids while their kids did speed in the dressing room. Hollywood parents, generally, allow their kids to do anything. Leibowitz should have had more sense to not shoot a naked child in a blanket, with a come hither stare and an anorexic look.

That's the type of person she is to me. With magazines laying off hundreds of workers, one picture/one photo shoot from her for one issue could pay the salaries of 4 assitants for a year. Your subscription to Vogue or Rolling Stone supplies her greed and gluttony.

So it's no surprise to me that, instead of maybe dialing back her gluttonous spending spree to own homes and debt too large for her to handle, she mortgages and essentially pawns her entire library of photos. That's just gluttenous, greedy arrogance gone wild. I wish nothing but bankruptcy for her. If she was a nice person, or less arrogant, I would hope she could pull out of it - but you reap what you sow. She's sowed a career of being a pompous, disrespectful ass to the people she'd shoot, like Queen of England, for instance, (not like I would do any different) telling her "do you know who I am". People like this in this business deserve to lose anything and everything they have as a payback for how they've treated everyone. Like Martha Stewart and her arrogant ass going to jail - she deserved it, mostly for being a legendary bitch.

Maybe it will bring her back down to normal.

If anything, you hope she was once normal.

For your curiosity, here's an article. You'll probably be able to buy her photos on ebay very soon!

Cya Defamer

2009-02-22T14:49:00.000-08:00

You'll probably be reading a lot about these kinds of things in the near future - the blog merge-and-survive stage should be starting up now as most of these blogs make next to no money, pay way too much for photos and end up going belly up.

DHD is reporting that the famous Defamer.com (a licensor of my photos of Steven Seagal in concert - thanks guys!) is being merged into the more corporate gawker.com.

Gawker.com is polishing up, like many other information providers like breitbart.com, AP, and CNN to be a premiere entertainment gossip site, taking on directly the likes of TMZ and the socially useless (my opinion, I'm sure society feels there's a use for his alleged smarts) Perez Hilton, as the market for entertainment news is heating up and is "seemingly" more profitable than news which matters.

Yes, entertainment news doesn't matter. But people seem to think it does so, go where the money is, right?

In all likelyhood, this will only homogenize the content, allowing for the more caustic, independent (and often factually incorrect) sites like TMZ and the educationally inept (my opinion only - I'm sure he's a smart human being) Perez Hilton, and for more intelligent fare (with actual, albeit extremely biased, but actual, bona-fide journalism) to flourish because their networks are fare more intricate, deep and more responsive than the established, say legacy networks...if you can call a department which has been around for 4 years legacy.

Recessions do cause the most interesting things to happen!

TV On The Radio on SNL

2009-02-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

Here's a pretty coherent explanation as to why indie/pop powerhouse TV On The Radio sucked hard core on SNL...

...my explanation is easier: everything and everyone who is on or goes on the current iteration of SNL sucks or gets bitten by the suck-ass bug. Why this fossil of a show which is only funny when Timberlake does Dick In A Box is beyond me.

Matt Rosoff explains deftly about it being the sound guy. If you've worked in music as long as I have, you know it's always the sound guy's fault. They might have a point here: bring a laptop and you can replicate your finely crafted CD sound on the road, so know one ever has to learn that you really suck in real life.

Maybe they suffered another Ashlee problem?

I didn't see this performance. I'm not a fan of TV On The Radio - I think they're a talented jam band, but not really anything to blow up my skirt. They're amazing - just like everyone else.

XBox Attacks - Are you a booter?

2009-02-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

Been kickin' too much ass on that thar XBox that some more nefarious character-types are getting a little hot under that thar collar?

Been kickin' so much ass that suddenly your XBox can't find the interwebs with both controllers?

Maybe you've been getting a little DDoS action and you ain't been checkin' your asshole enough to know when someone's been fuckin' it.

According to Cnet News, lot's o' folks been bootin' peoples off the interwebs cuz they're gettin' a little too beaten to a pulp on that thar Gears of War, CNC3 or wherever they take their tarnishin' from.

...see this works better if you read it with a southern accent and drawl a little... then it makes more sense...

According to the article, M$'s response is pretty much, "Wow, that's bad. That probably really sucks for you." Then again, if you were in chat rooms in the mid-to-late 90's, you too were scripting opening someone's CD tray, heavy-pinging their IP address or other such shenanigans (maybe you even hacked their system or to, eh??? You know who you are you heathen!)

Bottom line - maybe try not to clean so many clocks online. That's why I don't use my XBox Live account for gaming - I'm too pussy chicken to get my ass kicked by a 9 year old.

Mac Mini 2 Porn

2009-02-21T20:12:00.000-08:00

For you Mac enthusiasts (snobs) who cum all over yourselves at even the conversation about a Mac.

Mac Mini 2009 Edition - Amazing videos are here

Windows 7 RC to be released in April (Rumor)

2009-02-21T19:59:00.000-08:00

Now I wouldn't be doing my blogging duties if I did not relay what another blog was talking about. According to Ars Technica, your Vista woes may be a little closer to ending as they are saying the public will get a Release Candidate version of Windows 7 to play with on April 10th.

This would be in keeping in line with Microsoft's intended release of Windows 7 to manufacturers in the fall for an intended OEM release by Christmas, with a retail, boxed release the next month.

Windows 7, as you might not already know is the successor to the clunkass Windows Vista, its debut was more like Windows ME than Windows XP and has wildly been regarded by the purchasing public as a bone-ass failure and a complete waste of consumer money.

Techs all over the interweb have been creaming themselves as Windows 7 seems to be faster, better, stronger, harder and sexier than its pasture predecessor, and harkens back to those good ole days called Windows XP when your computer only crashed 40% of the time, rather than 90% of the time.

Windows Vista is not dead however, as a Service Pack 2 is going to be released later this quarter or early 2nd quarter, for those of you still punching yourselves that you paid that much money for that large a piece of shit. (It's funny how the linked article still tries to upsell Vista by calling a Service Pack "extra incentive" in connection with upgrading rather than waiting for 7 - lame.)

Personally, I've downgraded all upgraded systems back to XP, except for anything newer that I bought which was OEM Vista. I have one system which is still Vista, and I try not to use it for things other than watching movies or websurfing because the Vista system is still wildly inconsistent (even after an SP1 upgrade).

One day our Windows 7 (6.1) prince will come.

Two Local Bands Break on Network TV

2009-02-19T14:09:00.000-08:00

Two local Los Angeles bands had their network television debuts of sorts on an episode of Knight Rider (NBC) last night.

Of sorts because, these network debuts were pretty fleeting.

Grungy indie rock band The Vacation and sexy latina indie punk band The Sirens both were in two separate scenes during last night's episode of Knight Rider, each showcasing one of their hottest songs to date.

Unfortunately, you might not have noticed it - The Vacation's scene ran with pretty much no identifiable markers, while The Sirens had great camera coverage and were smart enough to have a banner on the wall! (We found out that the production braintrusts producing the show subsequently lost the banner). At least the curious viewer could figure out the name of at least one of the bands.

It appears each band was discovered at a previous gig by scouts of the show.

This isn't the first time that a local band has made big-time TV: Kelly Ogden of The Dollyrots was recently seen in a guest starring role on CSI:NY. We won't mention the less-than-talented participants who've graced fantastic shows like American Idol or Next Great American Band.

Both The Vacation and The Sirens will be gigging soon in Los Angeles - go check them out!

The Vacation is a one-time client of AyesseMedia in 2004; The Sirens are a current client of AyesseMedia since 2006.

You can check the show out in re-run format on hulu.com.

Civic Speed

2009-02-19T13:53:00.000-08:00

From the AP:
GREENVILLE, N.Y. (AP) - State police have ticketed an upstate New York man for driving more than twice the 65-mph speed limit on an interstate highway. Troopers said a 21-year-old man was clocked doing 137 mph on Interstate 84 in Orange County on Tuesday. He was pulled over in the westbound lanes near Exit 2 in the town of Greenville, on the New Jersey border 60 miles northwest of New York City.

Troopers said the man was driving a 1993 Honda Civic.

The man was ticketed for speeding, reckless driving and having vehicle windows with illegal tint.

He's due to appear in Greenville Town Court on Feb. 25.

There was no telephone listing for the man."

Yeah, so, I did 120 in a 1992 Honda Civic, fully loaded with furniture. Was pulled over by 3 CHP and let go with an 85MPH over 55MPH speeding ticket. You can do it with those old Civics - they're pretty badass!

...and that's why I also don't drive red cars anymore!

It's The Alcohol Talking

2009-02-19T13:47:00.000-08:00

The last, last thing I want is for my alcohol bottles to have speakers in them so that they can be my portable PA. Lest I'm drunk at home and start hearing Mariah Carey singing "Hero" from my vodka.

...and who's bright idea was it to name alcohol after an underwear brand?

I can only imagine how it must taste, let alone how they made that taste happen.

NO Oscar Coverage

2009-02-19T13:45:00.000-08:00

Sorry, you'll find no Oscar or any award show coverage here.

We seriously don't believe in psychophantic reporting unless it's truly warranted and no Hollywood star warrants it.

Go watch Sam Rubin on Channel 5 or pretty much anyone on Extra, Access Hollywood, or the Insider for a clinic on how to completely throw softball questions and kiss major ass, rather than engage in serious, legitimate journalism.

When's A Netbook Not A Netbook

2009-02-19T13:14:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting one: when is a netbook not a netbook. Well if you were a nerdy tool like me, you may have used a Sharp Zaurus in the past - we're talkin' like 1993 past, you know before the internets existed, when you had to go and actually buy (or rent) your porn from that creepy back room at the Video Hut, and when you were rockin' Windows 3.1 (or the exotic 3.11). The Sharp Zaurus was a rudamentary PDA which had a lot of RAM and was a pretty good organizer. It was purchased by PSION, which had a line of some pretty awesome small organizers, which really became really robust tiny computers.

Plus they own a trademark to the name 'Netbook," which is suddenly all the rage now.

Well, far be it for Dell to adhere to a trademark, instead of paying a royalty, they'll just invalidate or attempt to invalidate the trademark, as this posting from engadget finely points out. Ah, how nice corporations are - so quick to give you the awesome heads up on your intellectual property rights.

Brilliance

2009-02-18T17:00:00.001-08:00

Hollywood ASST from Back of the Class on Vimeo.

Oh my can some of us relate to this one! Brilliance by backoftheclass.net