Sunday, March 29, 2009

Insight on the Insight


In the late 1990s, Honda was the only car company with a hybrid on the road. It was called the Insight. It was basically a CRX with a weird, new-fangled electricity hybrid which pissed off the modders of the time and led to many a panzy name-calling session when you rolled up to the stoplight in that and not a tricked out Civic or CRX.

GM had one too - it was ALL ELECTRIC called the EV-1. GM thought it was not viable for consumers and people woudn't go for it (plus the invariable huge bitching from the oil conglomerates and GM, being quite patriotic, ordered all owners to return the EV-1 for destruction...literally...we see how well that's worked out for GM). Toyota wasn't on the map. There was no Prius. The original "gay spaceship" as one comedian once called the Prius was the Insight.

I'm a fan of Honda, not because they're cheap cars - they're not -but because they don't screw around with the horseshit that BMW or Mercedes Benz do with the crap about prestige and image. Take a boxload of prestige to the bank and try to deposit it - see how far you get. Honda does have something in common with BMW and Mercedes, and that's innovation. The second generation of Insights takes a lot from the FCV Clarity. That's a Fuel Cell Vehicle, similar to the Fuel Cell Vehicle which BMW and GM are rolling around with.

But one thing you never see MBZ or BMW or even Prius owners do with their cars - make funny light shows. Utilizing the LED headlights of the Insight, Honda has made something quite unique about the Insight - one massive LED display:

Friday, March 27, 2009

You'll Be Saying Wow Everytime

ShamWow! and Slap Chop pitchman Vince Shlomi aka Vince Offer was arrested for beating up a hooker because she bit his tongue.

You can read the article about him here.

Maybe it was his shark-fin hair? Ultra cool threads? Maybe because she liked his nuts in the Slap Chop?

Or maybe she told him he'll be saying wow every time.

Dude, he was on CNBC, and his VP of whatever the hell is friggin hot. If he ain't gettin' nothing from her what the F?

Guys will do anything to get laid.

No video of the CNBC interview cuz they're dicks, but just to remind you:



And...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Thing About Kara

I'm not a fan of Kara Dioguardi.

I'm not a fan of American Idol, but the only one with any sense is Simon. At least Simon and Paula have a recognizable track record. Randy Jackson is as fake in person as he appears on camera (yes I've met him several times).

But Kara...she's only on the show because she knows Paula. By her own admission, she's a failed performance artist and had never actually had a successful performance career - sooo, why is she judging performers? So she can, maybe, help them not fail? Or fail?

Her website says she's VP of A&R of Warner Bros. Records. We see how good their track record has been over the last 5 years (minus the legacy acts, because she's got nothing to do with them).

The problem I have is that on her website she's fast and loose with the terms "my song" and "co-write". If you looked at her actual writing credits on the BMI Repertoire, you'll see that she rarely, if ever wrote a song alone - maybe twice out of 555 songs. We're not saying she didn't write any of these songs, but she certainly didn't solely write any of the songs, nor can she call them "her songs" because other writers are involved. We think by saying these songs are hers, that's a fraud, because she co-wrote with other artists, especially known "hit-maker" writers who have written far more successful (in sales) songs than she ever did, which, I think, calls into question her actual credibility... as if being Paula's friend and showing how it really is who you know not what you know is the actual reality of this business doesn't already diminish her credibility.

Does this mean anything? No. Of course not. Just understand she's contributing to why radio sucks, why the value of music has been diminished and devalued and as to why all of her rantings are BS. The "art" she so proudly lauds is woefully absent when you co-write such intellectually stimulating songs which sound so much different from every other song on the radio. So the next time you complain that the radio sucks, rock music is dead and pop is shit, then stop lauding people like Kara Dioguardi and stop buying pop music. Come on, demand better already.

And, in case there's some stuffy Fox attorney or personal attorney looking for a suit, all of the above, is in my opinion, of course, but the BMI index doesn't lie and is totally factual, as well as the quotes from her site. Plus, I like to go after bar cards, so sue at your own peril.

She knows pop music songwriting. Not performance. And that means she knows how to make widgets, not art.

The Dollyrots Featured in Universal Trailer


Local L.A. band (from Florida) The Dollyrots scored some phat licensing money recently and you can hear their single "Because I'm Awesome" featured prominently in the never-ending-ever saga of the "Bring It On" franchise, this one, apparently, is the Christina Millian version, because someone thinks she'll sell in movies, even though her music doesn't sell.

Leave that one to the college graduates who bought the sales line from her agents.

...and who's her agent so I can get a deal like that???

Glad to see that at least one of the indie bands from L.A. is still trying and still succeeding.

On the web:
www.myspace.com/thedollyrots

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Is Anything Legit on MTV?

Let's see, MTV, formerly known as Music Television, doesn't play any music.

They make the most mind-numbingly stupid television on the planet next to the Oprah Winfrey Show.

We all know the show Cribs is a fraud, as mos)e and rented cars that the producers placed there.

Even one of the most arguably funny shows on the channel, Parental Control, isn't real, as that's not the parent's house most of the time.

This would be evidenced by the posting on craigslist.com (http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/crg/1089087323.html) where it says:

Reply to: parentalcontrolhouse@yahoo.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-03-23, 7:22PM PDT


Looking for good-looking decently large sized homes in the greater los angeles area. We offer $500 for the shoot, fully insured. Must have a big living room (atleast 16' by 16') most of the shoot takes place there. Email if interested.

Thanks!
Walter


Pathetic. Not even that show real. We're now pretty much raising a generation of kids that totally believe that all the horseshit on TV is real, when it's complete bullshit.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Gmail Users Can Undo Loving Stalker Notes

Wired.com is reporting on a new feature in Gmail, for all you users of Gmail who like your mail archived and crawled by robots hellbent on pelting you with ads -Undo!

Oh yeah, better than that dastardly drunken goggles app, Google now allows you to undo that wretched note which would violate your parole and just take it all back with one click. Now, you can prevent losing your job or girl or your inadvertent revelation of your secret sexual orientation.

The Undo feature, though, really isn't an undo - it's a queue, which delays your email from going out for up to 5 seconds. So, really, you've got five seconds to think about what you've just done and to ask yourself if you really, really did spell-check that email.

Now if only Yahoo could Undoo.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Taylor Hicks Rocks Roxy

Many folks in the world believe that once you win American Idol, that the road is paved with gold and roses for Katherine McPhee to gleefully dance along barefoot...even though she didn't win. But the Ruben Studdards of the world will tell you that sometimes all that glitters may not be so golden as was the case with Taylor Hicks at the Roxy Theatre.

Don't get me wrong, Taylor Hicks definitely has an underrated show. His performance was very enjoyable, his musicianship and the musicianship of his band was nothing but professional. Unfortunately the half-filled room were the only ones to appreciate it.

Hicks seemed to have a hard time drawing at the Roxy. Although, audience members, some of whom came as far away as South Carolina or Canada, were prepared, rationalizing that Hicks is not a mainstream pop candy and is an acquired taste. One woman went so far as to explicitly explain to me why he doesn't photograph well.

His performance was not bolstered by his opener, Candace Devine, whose voice kept giving out when she tried to belt the high notes, thereby coloring her singing as a gravely blues performance instead of an all-out singing sensation. Devine's performance was good, but in a lounge act kind of quality, whereby opening for what could arguably be considered a national act may be still too far out of reach. As well, nobody but nobody seemed to know who she was, and it didn't seem to lift the draw any.

Hicks is currently starring in the local off-Broadway production of Grease at the Pantages Theatre, and this performance probably helped ticket sales there, as everyone was talking about Hicks in Grease. Nevertheless, the late 40s to early 50s crowd isn't the type to pad a draw in the long run, so Hicks may have an uphill battle if he tries to play larger venues, or venues without a bar less than 100 feet from the stage. Most of the audience wasn't from Los Angeles, and even the local radio station My 100 FM (I think), just gave out stickers to random people and then bailed 20 minutes before doors, showing their lackluster support for this American Idol winner.

Taylor Hicks isn't so much an acquired taste as he's a much better sell in the south and midwest. We happen to appreciate his mix of country western and blues/southern rock and makes for a good sountrack to drinking and pool shooting. But to try to bottle the AI lightning and re-engineer history may be much more a task of Sisyphus than something based in reality.

Taylor Hicks did have fans in the multitude of badly-behaving photographers who showed up to photograph Hicks. Their red carpet pap tactics of disrespectfully pushing through the crowds of paying and non-paying folks didn't fly with the gauntlet of women at the front line, as many of them were barked back about 3 rows or physically threatened to move. Even at one point, a tall photographer pushed his way into the front row from the stage and decided to shoot while ducking after being subtly threatened by a male in the crowd.

There were some people who were angry with the way the show was put on, as many who paid the $35 price tag met some who paid nothing as a pair of websites began giving away tickets (just pay that dandy service fee) late in the day. Ostensibly, this was a late-game attempt to make the room look full, but it just seemed to have failed.

A bright spot of the night was the nonchalant opener Check In The Dark, whose bluesy, melodic soft-southern country-pop/rock was a welcome and surprising blend of notes in a Dave Matthews kind of way, which made for an actually pleasant and competent opening band (you know, because most openers usually are blatantly retarded). Bragging how they dropped an album in Japan and immediately sold 500 copies, they may be onto something in the short-term, as Check In The Dark snakecharmed the room just enough to dodge the usual scathing apathy that Los Angeles is so well known for.

On the web:

Check In The Dark
www.myspace.com/checkinthedarkmusic

Candace Devine
www.myspace.com/candacedevine

Taylor Hicks
www.taylorhicks.com

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Little Petty Cash at the Key Club

If you've been going to the Key Club on Sunset for any amount of time (or maybe like 3 years or so), you know that Monday nights are crazy. Did you know that underneath, in the Plush lounge, the party starts as early as 9PM? That's when you need to experience the magic of Petty Cash.

Comprised, in part, of current and former members of Juliette Lewis' indie band Juliette and The Licks, Petty Cash is a fantastic cover band, playing the hits and greats of Johnny Cash and Tom Petty, in a rockin', raucous, and lively set.

Featuring players like Kemble Walters ("Volume"), Todd Morse ("H20") and Jason Womack (all formerly or currently of Juliette's band), Petty Cash warms up the cockles of the Key Club in preparation for the Monday Madness which is Steel Panther (aka "Metal Skool" aka "Metal Shop" for you name purists). $3 PBRs also make it a little more enjoyable.

Petty Cash is often guested, just like Steel Panther's performances, by such folks as Pink (Alecia Moore) and the guys from Steel Panther and H20, to name a simple few.

It's not pretentious nor presumtuous. They play the Petty and Cash hits with some good hearted, half-drunken fun and show how much these guys really enjoy just playing music in general, oftentimes wailing off in a fun guitar solo or dueling guitars and drums or guitars and vocals, heighting the fun and musical flavor. I mean, how much fun is it to scream the chorus of the song "Freeballin'"? Ya know?!

For a fantastic warm up to the metal mania of Steel Panther, do check out Petty Cash at the Key Club. Usually in the Plush lounge downstairs. You know, downstairs, by the bathrooms, across from the photo booth - in that place you never go to?

Hit them up below to get on the free guest list, and then go get 'em!

On the web:
www.myspace.com/pettycashparty

Lady Gaga Blows Out the Wiltern

Last week, UK performer Lady Gaga put on a clinic at the Wiltern, handling expectations, hype, energy and slamming down a satisfying pop candy performance.

The Wiltern Theatre was more sold out than any show I can remember (remember that "Sold Out" doesn't actually mean "Sold Out"), with people still packing into the center sections and overflowing the pit area even as Lady Gaga's performance continued.

Celebrities actually came in the front door, rather than through the check-in point in the side alley door, where they usually come in. People like Davey Havok ("AFI") and Kanye West stormed through the foyer of the Wiltern, to only be surprised by the phalanx of photographers awaiting to ambush their presence, rather than allow them a good time to enjoy a great performance. This usually happens when red carpet paps invade a concert, rather than concert photographers. Kelly Osborne entered and actually stayed on the floor, watching the show from the pit, while others went straight to the backstage party downstairs.

Lady Gaga's performance was a mix of the theatrical with the familiar mainstream pop dance spectacular. If you're not a fan of her music or of this form of pop/dance, you will be hard-pressed to deny the showmanship Lady Gaga presents, on par with Madonna, Janet and Britney in intricacy, dance and detail - in a smaller scale of course.

Look for Lady Gaga to be playing a theatre near you, and then a stadium on the next run.

On the web:
www.ladygaga.com

Thursday, March 12, 2009

A Dash of Anti-Disney Brilliance

I used to work for Walt Disney. I have a total appreciation.



Special thanks to DHD.

Estelle Rocks the House

Charming the stage is becoming an increasingly tough thing to do in modern music. As more and more performers yell "make some noise" it is becoming a lost art. Estelle, however, seems to make charming the snakes in the room an effortless and enjoyable feat.

Estelle, who recently opened for John Legend, proved that her natural charm and flow which she so deftly displayed at the Gibson Amphitheater, is only made more fun when placed on an intimate stage. Estelle played the House of Blues in Anaheim to a fully-packed house (and when I mean packed, I mean to the back wall and to the door, and the upper-level decks too!), sold out and more waiting outside, and she did not fail in delivering a rockin', sing-along show which men and women both delighted in.

Her disarming charm was in full bloom when storytelling how many men did her wrong and what she decided to do about it -the audience gleefully going along for the ride.

This UK starlet, famous for her part in the Kanye West duet "American Boy" is poised and ready for her bigger spotlight, shades of her show reminiscent of a young Mary J. Blige, with more humor and a contemporary style uniquely her own. Look for her to receive more Grammy nominations in the future.

Estelle's performance was buoyed by what can only be described as an absolutely aweful and incoherent performance by hip-hop duo The Knux, whose dated style and over-dressed rhymes were hip and cool if it were 1986. They just came off boring and just trying too hard.

Estelle is on tour now.

On the web:

www.estellemusic.com
www.myspace.com/estelleonline

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Sign of the Times

It's not a good thing, these times we're in.

I was in Hermosa Beach and my favorite punk rock, counter-culture store, Greeko's is literally half the size. All of the killer threads and kicks are gone, as well as the awesome pool table.

I did shots of The Dollyrots for one of their publicity campaigns here. Now it's a shitty smoke shop.

Half the stores are closed, including one where some smoking hot chick in a tiny skirt and bare feet wanted me to come in to hang out and to show me her bikini-area tattoo (presumably because she saw mine and wanted to share).

Another sign is when the online calendar for the Viper Room, usually just chock full of events for the month, is barely full. Not good at all.

This recession is definitely bad news.